Note to the Reader: ketamine is a charged word for some. Prior to 2015, I only had negative connotations with the medicine. I thought of it as a dirty drug and never considered trying it.
Following extensive conversations and research in early 2015, I decided to try the medicine with some friends.
At the time, it was the most ineffable experience of my life. My friends and I telepathically synchronized and were able to know things about one another that we hadn't discussed. There was much more to the experience, but I’ll leave that alone for now.
Ketamine is currently being studied in clinical and therapeutic settings. The medicine offers a promising approach to the treatment of depression, PTSD, and other psychological conditions. Furthermore, the medicine has a history of providing transformative personal experiences.
Of course, like anything else, ketamine isn't a panacea. There are risks associated with its use. Should you like to learn more, I recommend checking out The Ketamine Papers.
Now, for my story: Ketamine, Kechari Mudra, Meteors and Samadhi:
Sunday, August 13
I woke up yesterday morning feeling quite tired. My body was asking for a relaxing day.
I browsed through some potential yoga videos before finding the perfect one.
Halfway through the yoga practice, I was so deeply present that, with eyes closed, I began seeing all sorts of psychedelic shapes and colours flowering, morphing, growing and being, like the plasma that surrounds us all the time. The fabric.
The sensation felt like the onset of a DMT trip: that intense rush that you know is about to blast you beyond your identity and into spaces that you previously would’ve dismissed as fictional or impossible.
I explored the edge of this sensation, and as I moved through poses, I felt the presence of beings, much like the beings I describe in this video.
As I laid in shavasana towards the end of the practice, I heard a sound that I thought was a knock at the back door.
I let the sound pass and remained present to shavasana and the beings surrounding me. The experience was akin to a breakthrough DMT journey, with a slightly less intense quality. Someone knocked at the back door once again, and my roommate Tim answered it.
“Tim, is Michael around? Or, can you help me?” I heard our neighbour Joseph ask. Joseph is an incredibly sweet old Italian man. He feels a bit like a grandfather and he often gifts me vegetables from his beautiful garden.
“I really need your help,” Joseph continued. “I’m not feeling well, like I don’t have coordination. Do you have any Aspirin?”
“Sorry Joseph, we don’t have any Aspirin. But, I’ll go to the store to get you some,” Tim said. “And, I’ll bring it to you. Do you need help walking back to your house? Or, do you want to stay here?”
“I’ll be okay to make it to my house. See you soon,” Joseph replied.
I continued to lie on the floor, and I asked the loving beings that surrounded me to please help Joseph. And, they did. The beings migrated from my body and headed in Joseph’s direction as I sent loving and healing energy to my neighbour.
Tim left and returned a few minutes later to tell me that Joseph was en route to the hospital via ambulance. I haven’t seen Joseph yet, but I sense that he’ll be okay.
* * *
I’ll preface the next part of my story below by explaining that I’ve been working on the Khechari mudra every morning since my friend Austin showed it to me at Camp Summerdaze two weekends ago.
In case you’re unfamiliar, Kechari mudra is a yoga practice where, initially, the tongue is rolled up to touch the soft palate on the roof of the mouth. With due practice, one is able to roll the tongue back and insert it into the nasal cavity behind the palate. This is an advanced practice and the yogi is said to overcome thirst, hunger, decay and death with the mudra.
Each morning, I stretch my tongue and reach it back. Just a little bit every day, nothing too intense. Intuitively flowing with it and coming to feel and understand the mudra.
Now, for the next part of the story:
Last night, I ventured north of the city with my dear friend Emil to watch the Perseid meteor shower. We parked in a random cornfield, laid out some blankets and basked beneath the moonlit and shooting starry night sky.
We had a ketamine ceremony as well.
I was channeling all sorts of other dimensional entities. Some of these entities looked like strange bird creatures that could’ve been perceived as terrifying, but I loved them anyways. I know they’re not here to harm, and that they just look different. Plus, unconditional love is an infinitely protective force—to the point that even the need for protection is transcended. I was also channeling sounds and realizations, and observing Michael Sanders. T’was wonderful, and Emil was channeling too—his first time having a ketamine experience like this (he’s done K before and he’s an intentional guy, but just wasn’t aware of K in this sort of context).
We sounded, Ohm’d, chatted, shared, connected and explored. Emil told me about these light beams that emanate from his (and all humans') head, and described a method to connect with one’s merkabah.
“Connect with your heart. Connect with your third eye. Now, rotate your pineal gland forward and down,” Emil explained.
Immediately, and with my third eye, I saw a small and tremendously colourful merkabah at my heart. I recognized that despite its small appearance, the merkabah was infinite. As the merkabah expanded, I marveled at its beauty—a space and imaginationship for me to explore with.
The meteors showered above us, one or more every minute shooting brilliant light across the night sky.
Then, we decided to have another round with the ketamine.
Emil showed me a video of him drumming. He is the greatest drummer I’ve encountered, and I’m wondering if he will become the greatest drummer the world has ever known.
I was able to empathize so deeply that I dissociated from my identity to join his in the video—to understand his experience of drumming.
The video ended and Emil picked up his backpack guitar. He began singing a song he wrote for his grandfather the day his grandfather died.
I closed my eyes—well, sort of anyways. Ketamine often has this interesting effect where my eyes can be both open and closed at the same time.
Emil struck a particular chord that evoked joy and bliss, euphoria and tears from my soul. I floated amongst the flower of life, colourful and psychedelic dreamscapes of love. I floated into Samadhi. And then my tongue became a snake.
I felt the snake inside of me—a bit weird, but familiar to the depths of my soul, and undeniably loving, powerful and wonderful. The snake, my tongue, was liberated from any physical limitations. There was no need to work it or stretch it, and then my tongue floated beyond the soft palate and up into the nasal cavity.
It’s interesting that people call Khechari mudra a tongue “lock". It felt more like an unlock. And, it felt fluid rather than fixed.
From my seated cross-legged position, I was one with all, so beautiful, so free. You know the feeling. I even fell backwards—simultaneously involuntarily and consciously. The Khechari mudra persisted for 15-30 minutes, while the space and the feeling lasted even longer: infinitely, one might say.
Rather than the tongue lock enabling infinite blissful consciousness, it was as though infinite blissful consciousness enabled the tongue lock. I imagine this perspective might resonate with you :)
When the snake vacated my nasal cavity, a liquid filled my mouth. Yogis often refer to this liquid as nectar, the elixir of life, or the fountain of youth.
In time, the sun began to rise and Emil needed to return home. Upon recognizing the necessity of leaving our cornfield, I immediately chose the human state, the Michael Sanders state, once again. Such a wonderful experience it is to be human.
As we traveled back to the city, I felt deeply rejuvenated, as though each minute had been the equivalent of an hour’s sleep.
* * *
Sunday, August 27
Yesterday was my friend Matt's birthday. He turned 25, so he's five years younger than me. We met last month at Camp Summerdaze.
There, I gave a keynote talk called "Forgetting Who You Are to Remember What You Are: Love, Play, Psychedelics & Enlightenment".
Right before my talk, Matt and I made eye contact and embraced in a big hug. We immediately recognized a soul brotherly connection. We even look alike and people now sometimes mistake us for one another. His girlfriend Anastasia is electrified by the similarities in our respective essences.
Anastasia set up floats (re: float tanks) yesterday and didn't tell Matt that I was coming. He was ecstatic to see me; I ecstatic to see him. And, Anastasia ecstatic to see it all.
Matt expressed that, despite only having met one another for one weekend, I've become one of the biggest influences on his life. To feel this is tremendously humbling--especially because I couldn't think more highly of Matt.
The float was amazing. Special.
And then, we went to a house party for Matt's birthday.
It was a wonderful party with magical people, vibe, DJs and music.
We had a ketamine ceremony, which was Matt and a number of others' first time.
Merging of consciousness, telepathy, sounding, discovery, soaring into star systems and remembering eternal kinships. Knowing and remembering one another. Movements and sounds revealing a direct connection to The OA. Infinite love.
The whole evening, from my perspective, became ceremonial. Everyone who shared the medicine had a life changing experience--even those who've done K before (I'm sure it's not lost on you that intention plays a crucial role in the manifestations from using medicines).
I experienced a total rebirth. Every time I do K, I think "this is it," and despite any amount of familiarity, I sense that I'm never returning to my former state of being human.
A total omnipresence, whereby I am everywhere and all things, my consciousness observing Michael Sanders--even seeing myself out-of-body on a couch immersed in the wonderverse of infinity, periodically wondering where my foot is, or 'who does my arm belong to?', or choosing to open Michael Sanders' eyes to reengage with the human avatar before returning to the infinite state (not that they're mutually exclusive).
A simultaneous everywhere, elsewhere, nowhere, and now here. Effortlessly, my tongue rolled back and into my nasal cavity. Once again, the Kechari mudra. Infinite moments of eternity, reveling in the pure synchronization of all things.
Truly BEING all things. All things, including the music, the people and their thoughts, the conversations, the tables, couches, the air, the microorganisms floating through space, and all the things we as humans don't consciously categorize.
Dissociating from the microcosmic identity as Michael Sanders to remember my divinity as the macrocosmic all. And, to remember everyone's divinity as the macrocosmic all--for we are all one.
And, it is all Love. <3