Note to the Reader: ketamine is a charged word for some. Prior to 2015, I only had negative connotations with the medicine. I thought of it as a dirty drug and never considered trying it.
Following extensive conversations and research in early 2015, I decided to try the medicine with some friends.
At the time, it was the most ineffable experience of my life. My friends and I telepathically synchronized and were able to know things about one another that we hadn't discussed. There was much more to the experience, but I’ll leave that alone for now.
Ketamine is currently being studied in clinical and therapeutic settings. The medicine offers a promising approach to the treatment of depression, PTSD, and other psychological conditions. Furthermore, the medicine has a history of providing transformative personal experiences.
Now, for my story: Ketamine, Kechari Mudra, Meteors and Samadhi:
One of the most important aspects of our being—something that will help all of us realize our highest and most authentic selves—is misunderstood by 99% of people.
The thing I’m talking about is movement.
Movement is one of the most foundational elements to health and happiness. Exploring the realms of physicality expands our consciousness. The world begins to feel more like a playground, and life more like a dance.
In modern culture, many people feel limited by their physical vessels, but that need not be the case. You're navigating three-dimensional reality in a spaceship called the body. And, the body is your gift! Your gift to experience, play with, and explore . . .
There is no human endeavour not enhanced by the freedom that comes with a healthy and able body. Each day, we are given the opportunity to expand our movement capacity.
Light turns to dark, and we all make our way to a big campfire. Tiki torch and candle flames dance as the scent of Palo Santo fills the air and our nostrils. Soft colourful lights bathe the trees with purples and blues, while a starry night sky and the brilliant half moon decorate our imaginations. The sound system surrounds the space.
I lie down on a blanket, and the sound check alone has people in a meditative trance.
Eduardo sits cross-legged at a low table with candles, a laptop, mixing equipment and microphone before he invites us on a journey.
“Thank you for this special experience everyone. All of it and all of you are truly magic,” he says. “I invite you to get comfortable, lie down, and imagine that you’re in your living room. I’m going to play some music for you. It’s all improvised, and I’m really honoured to share this. Patience will be your friend. I encourage you not to expect anything to happen. Simply relax and allow."
For almost a year, I was caught in a cycle of constantly wanting to eat. I love food, and while I had no trouble maintaining my desired body composition, part of my mind was always on food. Most nights, I would overeat. I’d then compensate by fasting until the following afternoon.
I see tremendous benefits from fasting, but not as many benefits when the fasts consistently follow a period of overeating.
Since September, I haven’t overeaten once. I’ve released the behaviour. As my new eating tendencies become more ingrained, any desire to overeat dwindles away.
I feel lighter—physically and mentally, more agile, and while my weight remains the same, my body composition has improved. I’ve noticed some other profound developments as well:
1)I’m becoming increasingly synesthetic, especially with my perception of sound.
2)I’m experiencing the future in fragments prior to its arrival.
I rarely engage in political commentary on the Internet. Doing so most often seems to further polarize opposing parties, or serves as an echo chamber for those who already share similar ideas.
However, I was recently asked, “do you think the political system is broken?” Here's my response, which I hope inspires and harmonizes:
I think all of reality, including the political system, is the result of our collective consciousness. We literally dream this reality into existence. The current political landscape is a reflection of our inner thoughts and beliefs on a mass scale. And thus, any flaw in the political system is a flaw in us.
For example, I think Donald Trump is the manifestation . . .
Last night, I was experiencing great sadness. I woke up feeling heavy and sad, and then I meditated.
At first, I talked with myself and said, "everything is okay." I addressed all the concerns I had, acknowledged them, gave them love, and expressed to myself how each individual concern is going to be okay. It felt like I was my own father and mother taking care of myself. It felt like I was holding myself. It felt like I was holding a younger version of myself, like I was holding a little boy.
I meditated on love for a while. Loving myself. Loving everything. Filling both with love. I meditated on loving you. I meditated on loving friends. . .
Walking near my house, I become fully present. No past, no future. Just now.
I become totally observant and astounded by everything--seeing myself as all things and everything: as the tree, as the car, as the condo, as the cloud, as the flower, as the pebble on the driveway beside the aluminum trash can. I am all of these things experiencing themselves through the space in consciousness known as Michael Sanders.
The now. The moment. It's complete: nothing to want for.
I'm mesmerized by an air conditioner protruding from a 10th story apartment . . .
A video account of a mushroom tea ceremony during which I encountered various conscious entities, experienced a collapse of all time and space, and merged the dream world with three-dimensional reality, amongst a whole host of other wonderful insights.
A video rendition of my experience at our Lovelution Valentine's Retreat. With the help of the 160 Bartley Dr. community in addition to all of our wonderful volunteers, the Retreat turned out to be the most beautiful celebration I've been a part of.
Reader’s note: On July 3, my friend Steph messaged me telling me to read Bringers of the Dawn by Barbara Marciniak, a book about the Pleiadians. Steph was insistent I read it, and based on the mind-blowing books she’s had me read in the past, I knew I’d indulge.
Another note: Dave is my best friend who died in a tragic accident October 17, 2010. Steph was dating Dave at the time.
Wow, Steph! I read the preface to Bringers of the Dawn (is that the title?) right before I fell asleep last night and I spent a week with Dave in my "dreams." So many of the guys from our crew got together to hang and we were all talking with Dave about his return (though, we weren't sure how long it would last). P Rob, Toman, Hammill, Darrin were there, and so were Dave's parents.
I spent a lot of time bonding and talking with Dave. It felt so awesome for both of us to hang out again, though we both acknowledged that we’re never really apart. The last thing I remember was asking him what death was like and did he remember. He smiled and said, "I don't remember, man," but with moist eyeballs and joy on his face, it was obvious that he felt something amazing towards death--that he was definitely having a beautiful time. . .
I met Justin Roy in the line at Electric Island a couple of Mondays ago. As soon as we made eye contact, we both knew we were going to be friends forever and that we were brothers who have known each other eternally. My roommate, Tim, had actually mentioned Justin to me a couple months prior: Tim had seen Justin DJ a Conscious Dance Party and had his mind blown.
Justin recently returned from Costa Rica where he concluded a transformative month-long adventure with three Ayahuasca ceremonies alongside his girlfriend Chrissy. His story is amazing, and he and I vibed immediately. We talked, danced, hugged and shared for the next six hours, recognizing tons of synchronicity along the way. He's releasing an album, and he's planning a crowdfunding campaign to launch a tour for his sound activation and shamanic dance parties. I had been looking for the second DJ for my book launch party (having already confirmed John Dill to play), and the universe aligned perfectly to show me Justin. . .
I was walking to the park minutes after sunrise, thinking about all the synchronicity in my life: each and every day, I’m encountering events and people who inspire me with their energy, their essence and their willingness to be themselves, allowing us to form deep bonds within minutes of knowing one another. The interests and philosophies we share are so congruent that it’s as though we’ve known each other forever—and we probably have.
As I was contemplating all the synchronicity, I realized I hadn’t experienced anything particularly synchronous yesterday, and then an anecdote popped into my conscious awareness . . .
Recently, I heard the term speciesism used for the first time. For those who aren’t familiar, speciesism is mostly used by animal rights advocates, who argue that speciesism is a prejudice similar to racism or sexism, in that the treatment of individuals is predicated on group membership and morally irrelevant physical differences. The argument is that species membership has no moral significance (Ryder Speciesism).
As an athlete who eats a lot of meat, I struggle to reconcile my lifestyle with the ethics of treating animals poorly. On one hand, I’m confident that my nutritional protocol helps me feel and perform better, but on the other, I’m not sure I should end other beings’ existence for my supposed betterment. I’m mindful of the animals I consume: I buy organically raised and humanely treated bison, cow, elk, lamb and chickens from farmers I know and trust; I use virtually every part of the animal including organs, tail and bones; and I treat every meal as though its sacred, taking the time to sit without distraction and appreciate each bite. However, I’m cognizant of the counter argument that a slave owner treating slaves with respect does not neglect the fact that said slave owner enslaves people. I might eat happy animals, but I’m still responsible for their death. . .
Naked and at the speed of light, I zoom down some intergalactic highway. I soar past planets, stars, solar systems, galaxies, galactic clusters, the universe. It’s so colourful: blues, greens, reds, whites, yellows, purples, indigos, every colour you can imagine and more. Explosions and contractions, life and death, beginnings and ends. Space flies past me and I fly through space, and despite travelling at the speed of light with my skin exposed, I’m comfortable . . .
Standing in the hallway of the hospital in China that my father works at, I look into a room to see a black man in a red and white polo suffocating a patient by pressing a pillow over the patient’s face. The patient squirms before his leg gives one last protesting kick and the black man locks eyes with mine. My hairs stand on end. The man pulls a gun and I sprint down the hallway. . .
This morning, I sit down cross-legged to meditate. After my first breath, I decide to focus on opening my third eye, something I’ve meditated on only a few times before. First, I make sure the five lower chakras are open before venturing onto the sixth, also known as the third eye chakra, which is often associated with higher levels of consciousness, out-of-body experiences and clairvoyance. When I reach the sixth chakra, I begin having visions of the future, or of a potential future. I see myself as a paraplegic relegated to a wheelchair . . .