Michael Sanders

My friend Liam once shared with me something to the effect of, 'so long as you have hope, you'll keep going.'

This video is a story about the beauty and power of small acts of kindness.

Founded by Michael Murphy and Dick Price, The Esalen Institute in Big Sur has been a driving force in the shaping and exploration of culture and consciousness since 1962. 

The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Alan Watts, Jack Kerouac, Aldous Huxley, Terrence McKenna, Ida Rolf, Abraham Maslow, Joseph Campbell, Joan Baez, Ansel Adams, John C. Lilly, Deepak Chopra, and Stanislav Grof are just some of the many magical people to have studied, taught, lived and played there . . .

February 27, 2038

We live in a world where people live symbiotically with nature. We value our harmony with all other entities. We recognize that there is nothing to extract, and only everything to share. Energy transfers from one form to another and from one set of hands to the next. We do not own, but instead temporarily hold . . .

“My intention is love, heal, explore, surrender, celebrate, be, gratitude, play.”

Alder passes me the hummingbird pipe as Morgan sets an intention and blesses me with sage.

I inhale the N,N-DMT smoke derived from Jurema before gasping more air.

“Hold it deep in your lungs with stillness,” Alder says.

I hold full lungs for 60 seconds before a warming sensation and buzzing sound fills half of my consciousness. I exhale a pleasurable sigh.

Alder torches the pipe once more as I lift it to my mouth for a second inhalation . . .

Toronto. 2013. Age 25.

I was taking everything so seriously that I stopped getting boners and considered putting a bullet in my brain.

I was working as the vice president of an advertising agency, the co-founder of a startup in the gaming industry, and was training intensely ten or more times each week.

I wanted to serve my clients, launch a successful company and attain financial freedom. I wanted to achieve a one-arm handstand, a one-arm chin-up and a 400-pound squat. I wanted to be at my peak every moment of my life.

I was going to bed early, so that I could wake up early. I had amazing friends, but it became difficult to share quality time with them. After all, I had to rise at 7 a.m to work on my handstand. And, I had to ensure that I had proper nutrition and sleep to get the most out of my training.

If I was tired, I had to push through and work harder. There’s no such thing as overtraining. There’s only undertraining, I thought. Plus, I don’t deserve more rest. I spend eight to ten hours per day at a standing desk. That’s rest enough, I told myself, ignoring the fact that I was orchestrating client advertising strategies and trying to launch a startup during those hours.

While I ate, I listened to educational and self-development podcasts. When I had openings in my schedule, I read books, or I trained strength and mobility for a third time that day. All so that I could do more, accomplish more, and be more.

Recently, I've been asked about the practices I use to live a liberated life. I've been asked a number of times, so I've created this post as a means of sharing for anyone who's interested:

To live a liberated life, I think one best focus on oneself.

When we love ourselves deeply by cultivating an infinite amount of self love, we feel whole. As expressions of the same oneness, I find that when I feel whole (which I am), all feels whole. 

I think we need to be uncompromising in the love we express to ourselves. I'll share with you some of the practices and tools I use to do so:

Note to the Reader: ketamine is a charged word for some. Prior to 2015, I only had negative connotations with the medicine. I thought of it as a dirty drug and never considered trying it.

Following extensive conversations and research in early 2015, I decided to try the medicine with some friends.

Wow.

At the time, it was the most ineffable experience of my life. My friends and I telepathically synchronized and were able to know things about one another that we hadn't discussed. There was much more to the experience, but I’ll leave that alone for now.

Ketamine is currently being studied in clinical and therapeutic settings. The medicine offers a promising approach to the treatment of depression, PTSD, and other psychological conditions. Furthermore, the medicine has a history of providing transformative personal experiences.

Now, for my story: Ketamine, Kechari Mudra, Meteors and Samadhi:

One of the most important aspects of our being—something that will help all of us realize our highest and most authentic selves—is misunderstood by 99% of people.

The thing I’m talking about is movement.

Movement is one of the most foundational elements to health and happiness. Exploring the realms of physicality expands our consciousness. The world begins to feel more like a playground, and life more like a dance. 

In modern culture, many people feel limited by their physical vessels, but that need not be the case. You're navigating three-dimensional reality in a spaceship called the body. And, the body is your gift! Your gift to experience, play with, and explore . . .

There is no human endeavour not enhanced by the freedom that comes with a healthy and able body. Each day, we are given the opportunity to expand our movement capacity.

Light turns to dark, and we all make our way to a big campfire. Tiki torch and candle flames dance as the scent of Palo Santo fills the air and our nostrils. Soft colourful lights bathe the trees with purples and blues, while a starry night sky and the brilliant half moon decorate our imaginations. The sound system surrounds the space.

I lie down on a blanket, and the sound check alone has people in a meditative trance.

Eduardo sits cross-legged at a low table with candles, a laptop, mixing equipment and microphone before he invites us on a journey.

“Thank you for this special experience everyone. All of it and all of you are truly magic,” he says. “I invite you to get comfortable, lie down, and imagine that you’re in your living room. I’m going to play some music for you. It’s all improvised, and I’m really honoured to share this. Patience will be your friend. I encourage you not to expect anything to happen. Simply relax and allow."

The most ineffable, complete experience, and the biggest release of my life.

Total dissolution of ego; Oneness, Infinity, Love.

Enjoy the video <3 

Over the summer solstice, I ventured out of town to celebrate two of my dear friends Pandora and Joanna's birthdays in the form of an Alice-In-Wonderland-esque tea party.

A bunch of brilliant, beautiful and loving women dressed in sexy fishnets and skirts, and a group of brilliant and loving men dressed like mad hatters and Burners partook in the celebration.

I took one tab of LSD with the intention of love, abundance, and bliss. And, oh my goodness . . .

"The cure for pain is in the pain." -- Rumi

Video.

For almost a year, I was caught in a cycle of constantly wanting to eat. I love food, and while I had no trouble maintaining my desired body composition, part of my mind was always on food. Most nights, I would overeat. I’d then compensate by fasting until the following afternoon.

I see tremendous benefits from fasting, but not as many benefits when the fasts consistently follow a period of overeating.

Since September, I haven’t overeaten once. I’ve released the behaviour. As my new eating tendencies become more ingrained, any desire to overeat dwindles away.

I feel lighter—physically and mentally, more agile, and while my weight remains the same, my body composition has improved. I’ve noticed some other profound developments as well:

1)   I’m becoming increasingly synesthetic, especially with my perception of sound.

2)   I’m experiencing the future in fragments prior to its arrival.

Let me dive into each a little further . . .

Some late night contemplations and the realization that nothing is impossible--with a slower cadence than usual :) 

(Video)

Here's the video story of the uplifting and upgrading hypnotic heart meditation my friend and brother Matt Belair guided me through.